love me youngblooded and firehearted…

she’s flowers and fire. - butterflies rising

love me
stretched out,
wing tips
touching nothing
but wild air…
love. me.
youngblooded and firehearted.
and when there’s aching in me,
please say, “chase it.”
and when there’s growing in me,
please say,
“it’s beautiful.”
love this restless soul
and this bleeding heart
that are falling all over you
messy and wild
just dying to love you
reckless and wild.
love me…
and tell me how free
my lungs will always breathe
when i love you.

– butterflies rising

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love and wandering…

when i get close, and when i let walls fall... i become a wild mess.

when i get close,
and when i let walls fall…
i become a wild mess. and i get fully disarmed.
i just wildflower open… soft. vulnerable.
and i become such an easy mark for the way that forever is
such a pretty word off the corner of your smile… and god,
how it feels like the sweetest. thing.
and i swear it… that stars shine brighter,
and skin feels even softer, and songs sink in a little deeper,
and the words are the sweetest. sugar.
and they mean ten times, a hundred times, all the times more…
and i feel it all like lightning and soul-imprint in my marrow.
and it’s beautiful. and it’s terrifying.
because my safe space… is in the wild open…
where there’s growing space and soul-searching space,
and where my fire is bright, and my wings are wide,
and my breathing is all its own, and where i can always
feel the way my heart beats on its own…
with me over here. and you over there.
and i don’t know if my heart will ever settle it…
the way everything is more beautiful when i’m in love,
but i feel so much stronger when i’m not.

– butterflies rising

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in the wild open…

my safe space… is in the wild open. where there’s growing space and soul-searching space

my safe space…
is in the wild open.
where there’s growing space
and soul-searching space,
and where my fire is bright,
and my wings are wide,
and my breathing is all its own…
and where i can always feel the way
my heart beats on its own.

– butterflies rising

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too full, too much…

she’s flowers and fire. - butterflies rising

for so long
i thought if i could just become. enough.
that it would be enough for him to be good to me
until i finally realized that wasn’t what he wanted.

he wanted me to be pretty enough
to be beautiful in his eyes,
but my eyes better not be too bright,
and that dress better not be too short,
and those lips better not be too full of lush and love
or talk of too much life for anyone else to see
something beautiful in me…
or heaven forbid,
for me to see something beautiful in myself.
and those dreams i had to find my voice and to spill
all the wild from my heart out into the world…
if i was chasing those dreams,
then i wouldn’t be small enough or sitting still enough as
the sure thing there waiting while he was chasing his.
the more i tried to be. enough. the more i became too much.

because underneath all the ways he needed me to be small,
“enough” is what he felt like he wasn’t.

– butterflies rising

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