when it matters…

but did you love her with an ache when you had her?

you say it aches,
how much you miss her…
but did you love her with an ache when you had her?

you had every bit of her full attention,
but where was yours?
she broke her heart open for you
again and again… and you just. kept. closing yours.

and so you lost her. and now you learn…
you learn that holding has to have wanting,
and appreciating, and valuing. you learn that love
isn’t static. it’s kinetic, it’s movement,
it’s growth and curiosity. you learn that there has
to be just as much
there has to be more wanting in the holding
than there is in missing, or in reaching for.

you learn that you have to ache for people when it matters…
you have to love someone when you have them.

– butterflies rising

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when a music lover loves…

the way a song makes you feel about them

when you love,
the music around you becomes
the soundtrack to the stories you are living
with that person in them

that time, those places, those moments,
it intertwines with all of it.
it becomes the energy that captures what you
feel with them, what you feel for them.
it becomes this visceral, engraved part of the life you live,
the life you know… a life that has them in it.

so, when it ends…
when you have to start unweaving
them from your stories, and untangling them
from your energy, and unraveling. them. from. your. life.

out of everything you have to let go of…

i don’t know if there’s
anything harder to let go of
than the way a song makes you
feel about them.

– when a music lover loves

– butterflies rising

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a growing season…

this is a growing season, of change, of turning, of shedding

this is a growing season,
of change, of turning, of shedding,
of letting things fall away,
and fall apart, and come undone,
and be uncovered

and then a space of surrender,
and being, just being.

and the reflections here are temporary,
so take them in and honor them,
and be honest with them, and own them…
but then forgive them,
and don’t stay in them

let it all go… let yourself bloom

– butterflies rising

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self-sovereignty…

become a more beautiful, whole, confident version of you

don’t look for your
peace in getting back at them,
or trying to make them see your worth
and what they lost in you…

go more into yourself.
become a more beautiful, whole,
confident version of you…
one that doesn’t need anything
from them to feel free.

– self-sovereignty

– butterflies rising

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beautiful stardust…

passionate pain is brutal pain... but it's powerful pain too.

beautiful stardust…

when you love wildly,
your heart can break so. intensely.
and passionate pain is brutal pain…
but it’s powerful pain too.

it stirs us in our soul places. and even when it
feels like it burns right through us and tears us apart,
it can be a catalyst if we let it.
we can pour it into things like music and art
and poetry… or turn it into growth and change
and inspiration and all these other beautiful things
that we can become and can spill
out into the world.

when you love intensely,
your heart can break so. intensely.so keep loving deep…
and keep your heart wilder than wild…
and breathe it all out as beautiful stardust.

– butterflies rising

– butterflies rising

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