aren’t even mine…

it’s one of the darkest feelings i’ve ever known... unworthy.  and maybe i want to learn to start questioning it

it’s one of the darkest feelings
i’ve ever known… unworthy.

and maybe i want to learn to start
questioning it when i feel it.
like… is it always even mine?

because if it’s from someone else…
someone else’s unkindness, or judgment,
or their own unworthiness they’re projecting…
then i want to learn to say no.

i think maybe my own battles would get a little
easier to face if i wasn’t also fighting the
ones that aren’t even mine.

– butterflies rising

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in the wild open…

my safe space… is in the wild open. where there’s growing space and soul-searching space

my safe space…
is in the wild open.
where there’s growing space
and soul-searching space,
and where my fire is bright,
and my wings are wide,
and my breathing is all its own…
and where i can always feel the way
my heart beats on its own.

– butterflies rising

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all these big dreams…

take a deep breath and just hold on

you’ve got
this big heart
and it’s full of all
these big dreams
and maybe sometimes
they feel too big
and maybe sometimes
it feels too hard
but the heavens want to have
favor on you
and it may take a long time
but it will happen in its right time
so take a deep breath
and just hold on

– butterflies rising

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when it matters…

but did you love her with an ache when you had her?

you say it aches,
how much you miss her…
but did you love her with an ache when you had her?

you had every bit of her full attention,
but where was yours?
she broke her heart open for you
again and again… and you just. kept. closing yours.

and so you lost her. and now you learn…
you learn that holding has to have wanting,
and appreciating, and valuing. you learn that love
isn’t static. it’s kinetic, it’s movement,
it’s growth and curiosity. you learn that there has
to be just as much
there has to be more wanting in the holding
than there is in missing, or in reaching for.

you learn that you have to ache for people when it matters…
you have to love someone when you have them.

– butterflies rising

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i don’t know any other way…

and maybe it's just too vulnerable a thing... this ache to feel it all so deep

and maybe it’s just
too vulnerable a thing…
this ache to feel it all so deep,
to break myself so open,
to feel it all so sweet,
and to crave the wildest ways
that it can burn,
to let it make me such a mess and
bring me to such an edge,
to let all be such an
untamed. passionate thing.
maybe none of this is the safest way to love…
but i don’t know any other way.

– butterflies rising

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