my way of asking for your forevers…

i can’t say them.
i can’t say those three words.

i can’t say it in three words…
i can’t speak these things small.
i don’t feel these things ordinary.
and i can’t look at you and feel. these. things.
and fit them into predetermined patterns
and pre-ordered packages,
or practice how to speak them
in a rented ballroom,
or repeat them as a morning habit…
these are star things, and soul things,
and all of my everything, things…
so when you say…
do you, will you?
i do, and i will
but out here where it’s wild,
and up here where it’s infinite,
and in me where i feel you,
where i’ve always. felt. you…
even before this. and where i’ll feel you
after this, and beyond this…

so what i can’t say means nothing.
and it means everything.

and what i mean when i say to you…
burn out the stars with me

…that’s my way of asking for your forevers.

– butterflies rising

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breathing in a life…

i've been letting go of heavy things - butterflies rising

i’ve been letting go
of heavy things

and i’ve been healing
a spirit, and tending to a soul, and
listening to a heart. and i’ve started to
exhale. and to breathe in… and to
breathe. in. a life

…and i’ve been letting go of
so, so many heavy things

– butterflies rising

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you are worthy of all this…

drip myself in wild creativity and burn - butterflies rising

i want…
to search. and stretch.
and grow. and glow.
and drip myself in
wild creativity,
and burn and breathe at once
in this skin. in these lungs.
wings untethered,
under the moon,
into the sky,
and to dream big and bigger
and biggest,
and to feel free in here…
inside my anxious chest.
to just. feel. free.
and to have the universe
say… yes, you are worthy of all this.

– butterflies rising

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all this mess inside my head…

he said,
what do you want?
i said… you.
he said,
no. i want to know what
you want… for you.

i want…
to search. and stretch.
and grow. and glow.
and drip myself in
wild creativity,
and burn and breathe at once
in this skin. in these lungs.
wings untethered,
under the moon,
into the sky,
and to dream big and bigger
and biggest,
and to feel free in here…
inside my anxious chest.
to just. feel. free.
and to have the universe
say… yes, you are worthy of all this.

and yes… you.
…the way you give me butterflies
and adrenaline highs,
and who you are, and how you are,
and how you think and speak and
feel and exist and move,
and there’s this feeling when you
look at me…
i think this is maybe love…
how you actually give a damn about
all this mess inside my head.

– butterflies rising

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