Tag: Spirit

from over here, love looks so sweet. but… so. terrifying…

and i'm still learning how to be mine

from over here,
love looks so sweet.
but… so. terrifying.
because i don’t yet know how.
how to be so close to someone and not
crumble into a wild mess of love
where i lose me.
the last time i got close…
my god, how i lost me.
so much that i could barely feel me. or hear me.
and it’s the deepest ache i’ve ever known
when i can’t feel me.
so i’m still learning… how not to dim
and quiet and run and hide and tame me.
how to hold my own fire even when
my heart catches fire.
how to hold on so tight to my own depths
that even when i’m tangled deep in you…
i’m still always mine…

and i’m still learning how to be mine.

– butterflies rising

– butterflies rising

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for so long i thought if i could just become. enough. that it would be enough…

for so long i thought if i could just become. enough. that it would be enough for him to be good to me

for so long
i thought if i could just become. enough.
that it would be enough for him to be good to me
until i finally realized that wasn’t what he wanted.

he wanted me to be pretty enough
to be beautiful in his eyes,
but my eyes better not be too bright,
and that dress better not be too short,
and those lips better not be too full of lush and love
or talk of too much life for anyone else to see
something beautiful in me…
or heaven forbid,
for me to see something beautiful in myself.
and those dreams i had to find my voice and to spill
all the wild from my heart out into the world…
if i was chasing those dreams,
then i wouldn’t be small enough or sitting still enough as
the sure thing there waiting while he was chasing his.
the more i tried to be. enough. the more i became too much.

because underneath all the ways he needed me to be small,
“enough” is what he felt like he wasn’t.

– butterflies rising

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if i could just become. enough. that it would be enough for him to be good to me…

she’s flowers and fire. - butterflies rising

for so long
i thought if i could just become. enough.
that it would be enough for him to be good to me
until i finally realized that wasn’t what he wanted.

he wanted me to be pretty enough
to be beautiful in his eyes,
but my eyes better not be too bright,
and that dress better not be too short,
and those lips better not be too full of lush and love
or talk of too much life for anyone else to see
something beautiful in me…
or heaven forbid,
for me to see something beautiful in myself.
and those dreams i had to find my voice and to spill
all the wild from my heart out into the world…
if i was chasing those dreams,
then i wouldn’t be small enough or sitting still enough as
the sure thing there waiting while he was chasing his.
the more i tried to be. enough. the more i became too much.

because underneath all the ways he needed me to be small,
“enough” is what he felt like he wasn’t.

– butterflies rising

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even if it is madness to do so… i will look for you in every lifetime… until we finally stay…

even if it is madness to do so, i will let myself feel you.

even if it is
madness to do so,
i will let myself feel you.
and even if it is through madness
to find you… i will search for you.
and no matter how far
and wide we wander,
how. desperately. we lose our way,
i will look for you in every lifetime…
until we finally stay.

– butterflies rising

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virgo child: lay here… safe in the morning light, soft in the daylight…

lay here... safe in the morning light, soft in the daylight, until sunlight becomes skin light

lay here…
safe in the
morning light,
soft in the daylight,
until sunlight becomes
skin light,
breathe in and
let the flowers wrap
you up in sweet
until the air comes easy
from your chest,
until the sky becomes
something you can touch,
and the earth becomes
somewhere you can stay
and still have wings

– butterflies rising

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