too full, too much…

for so long
i thought if i could
just become. enough.
that it would be enough
for him to be good to me…
until i finally realized that
wasn’t what he wanted.
he wanted me
to be pretty enough
to be beautiful in his eyes,
but my eyes better
not be too bright,
and that dress better
not be too short,
and those lips better not be
too full of lush and love
or talk of too much life for
anyone else to see something
beautiful in me…
or heaven forbid, for me to see
something beautiful in myself.
and those dreams i had to
find my voice and to spill out
the words and the wild
from my heart onto pages
and out into the world…
if i was chasing those dreams,
then i wouldn’t be small enough
or sitting still enough as
the sure thing there waiting
while he was chasing his.
the more i tried to be. enough.
the more i became too much.
because underneath all the
ways he needed me to be small,
“enough” is what he felt
like he wasn’t.

– butterflies rising

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the beautiful universe of you…

and your heart was placed inside with all your magic buried in it

the universe
burst stars open
and let the pieces fall
and they settled into a shape
and it was given your name
and your heart was placed inside
with all your magic buried in it
with moondust on the edges
and all your flowers planted with it
and this is you…
this is all inside of you.
so how could anyone
ever look at you
and not be breathtakingly fascinated
by the wonder of it all

– butterflies rising

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she’s got all that wildflower energy in her veins…

she’s got all that wildflower energy in her veins - butterflies rising

she’s butterfly-wild,
chasing all those inner fires,
her restless spirit
aching for something beautiful,
reaching for something more,
so flower-sweet and fire-wild,
she’s got all those big dreams
inside of her taking hold and
trying to stretch her, trying to grow her,
her wandering spirit
aching to find its way to open air,
searching for something golden
and sun-kissed,
reaching for so. much. more.
craving an untamed freedom
that tastes like pulse, and heartbeat,
and deep breath, and wild skin.
and she feels it all. and she will find it.
because she’s meant for it…
she’s got all that wildflower energy
in her veins.

– butterflies rising

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when a music lover loves…

the way a song makes you feel about them

when you love,
the music around you becomes
the soundtrack to the stories you are living
with that person in them

that time, those places, those moments,
it intertwines with all of it.
it becomes the energy that captures what you
feel with them, what you feel for them.
it becomes this visceral, engraved part of the life you live,
the life you know… a life that has them in it.

so, when it ends…
when you have to start unweaving
them from your stories, and untangling them
from your energy, and unraveling. them. from. your. life.

out of everything you have to let go of…

i don’t know if there’s
anything harder to let go of
than the way a song makes you
feel about them.

– when a music lover loves

– butterflies rising

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