when it matters…

but did you love her with an ache when you had her?

you say it aches,
how much you miss her…
but did you love her with an ache when you had her?

you had every bit of her full attention,
but where was yours?
she broke her heart open for you
again and again… and you just. kept. closing yours.

and so you lost her. and now you learn…
you learn that holding has to have wanting,
and appreciating, and valuing. you learn that love
isn’t static. it’s kinetic, it’s movement,
it’s growth and curiosity. you learn that there has
to be just as much there has to be more wanting in the holding
than there is in missing, or in reaching for.

you learn that you have to ache for people when it matters…
you have to love someone when you have them.

– butterflies rising

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everything beautiful i can’t make sense of…

you are the sweetest feeling i know – butterflies rising

you’re out there
and i’m here wishing i could
reach for you as easy
as a star could cross a sky…
just fall across your chest
and feel it all again.
your way of settling my madness with
that soft… slow… “baby” late at night,
and how you feel like everything beautiful
i can’t make sense of.
it’s a dangerously pretty edge
when you’re here,
but there’s a wild ache when you’re not,
and my axis pulls and pulls to
wherever you are.
i still feel you, and i miss you
and i miss you…
you are the sweetest feeling i know.

– butterflies rising

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