growing wings…

my full-bodied existence is beautiful

i didn’t know how to measure my worth,
and it led me to someone who measured his worth
in attention from her, and also her, and her
and any other her to hurt me

he thought there was power in possession and pain,
and that a man’s kingdom should be built
on the stepping of her back and the forfeit of her crown

so i forfeited. and i faded. but i’m learning things…

like how real lovers don’t come in numbers. they aren’t prisoners.
they’re not meant to be suffocated, or left for granted…
and how i’m full enough of wonder to hold someone’s attention,
that my full voice matters,
my full-bodied existence is beautiful,
and that a man on the strong side of oppression isn’t
the same thing as a man who is strong.

– butterflies rising

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breathe through and release…

not everything finds peace through forgiveness

on forced forgiveness…

not everything finds peace through
forgiveness. it just doesn’t. and trying to force
something you don’t authentically feel can
not only keep you from healing, but it can also
be a reinjury to your spirit.

sometimes you just feel it in you,
how forgiveness is asking too much of you,
and it’s not because you’re holding on, it’s because
sometimes the burden of that shift,
that closure, that resolution, it isn’t your work.
it’s the other person’s energy to move, and you cannot
move energy for others.

with those things, let it be ok that all they ask of you
is to breathe through and release.

– butterflies rising

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another life…

i can no longer wear that shade of unworthiness, or hold that self-unkindness

and if you
took me for granted…
you must know that that
was another life.
and i have found my way
to a new life.
and you are just not welcome here.

because i can no longer
wear that shade of unworthiness,
or hold that self-unkindness,
that let me live a life
where the people i let close to me
ever treated me as anything less than
a blessing in theirs.

– butterflies rising

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exoneration…

standing strong in your fully mended bones

i hope that one day
the person who hurt you sees you from afar
dancing in the radiance of
your unburdened spirit and standing
strong in your fully mended bones…

and that for just a moment you feel their gaze,
so you can forever know, without question,
the powerlessness of their
perception over you

– butterflies rising

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the spaces we’ve called love…

love can’t exist in a space without kindness

the spaces we’ve called love…

it’s heartbreaking
how many of us have felt in love
with people who were not even kind
to us…

how many of us weren’t taught that
love can’t exist in a space without kindness.
or without respect. or in a space that
doesn’t honor us and cherish us.

so many of us are learning that the spaces
we’ve called being in love, weren’t
spaces of love at all

– butterflies rising

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