…let me fall madly for me first.
– butterflies rising
Read More →Tag: Self Awareness
without a fight…
beautiful…
the way you say it,
how it feels. too. good.
like quenching thirst on my skin.
how i feel too desperate to hear it…
but how i can’t let it stay because
i’m too unsure to hold it.
so please…
don’t say it.
i want to have heard it enough in
my own voice that i don’t need you to say it…
but, also… so that when you do…
i can let it fall on me without a fight
…let me fall madly for me first.
– butterflies rising
Read More →i love like flowers and fire…
i love like flowers and fire…
i don’t know any other way.
soft and vulnerable,
and wild and burning…
with my heart broken. wide. open.
– butterflies rising
Read More →for so long i thought if i could just become. enough. that it would be enough…
for so long
i thought if i could just become. enough.
that it would be enough for him to be good to me
until i finally realized that wasn’t what he wanted.
he wanted me to be pretty enough
to be beautiful in his eyes,
but my eyes better not be too bright,
and that dress better not be too short,
and those lips better not be too full of lush and love
or talk of too much life for anyone else to see
something beautiful in me…
or heaven forbid,
for me to see something beautiful in myself.
and those dreams i had to find my voice and to spill
all the wild from my heart out into the world…
if i was chasing those dreams,
then i wouldn’t be small enough or sitting still enough as
the sure thing there waiting while he was chasing his.
the more i tried to be. enough. the more i became too much.
because underneath all the ways he needed me to be small,
“enough” is what he felt like he wasn’t.
– butterflies rising
Read More →if i could just become. enough. that it would be enough for him to be good to me…
for so long
i thought if i could just become. enough.
that it would be enough for him to be good to me
until i finally realized that wasn’t what he wanted.
he wanted me to be pretty enough
to be beautiful in his eyes,
but my eyes better not be too bright,
and that dress better not be too short,
and those lips better not be too full of lush and love
or talk of too much life for anyone else to see
something beautiful in me…
or heaven forbid,
for me to see something beautiful in myself.
and those dreams i had to find my voice and to spill
all the wild from my heart out into the world…
if i was chasing those dreams,
then i wouldn’t be small enough or sitting still enough as
the sure thing there waiting while he was chasing his.
the more i tried to be. enough. the more i became too much.
because underneath all the ways he needed me to be small,
“enough” is what he felt like he wasn’t.
– butterflies rising
Read More →entire universes…
little by little, i’m learning to love myself. and it might be slow…
little by little
i’m learning to love myself.
and it might be slow,
but i’m certain in letting go of
all the things that tell me i shouldn’t.
– butterflies rising
Read More →racing heartbeats…
love and wandering…
when i get close,
and when i let walls fall…
i become a wild mess. and i get fully disarmed.
i just wildflower open… soft. vulnerable.
and i become such an easy mark for the way that forever is
such a pretty word off the corner of your smile… and god,
how it feels like the sweetest. thing.
and i swear it… that stars shine brighter,
and skin feels even softer, and songs sink in a little deeper,
and the words are the sweetest. sugar.
and they mean ten times, a hundred times, all the times more…
and i feel it all like lightning and soul-imprint in my marrow.
and it’s beautiful. and it’s terrifying.
because my safe space… is in the wild open…
where there’s growing space and soul-searching space,
and where my fire is bright, and my wings are wide,
and my breathing is all its own, and where i can always
feel the way my heart beats on its own…
with me over here. and you over there.
and i don’t know if my heart will ever settle it…
the way everything is more beautiful when i’m in love,
but i feel so much stronger when i’m not.
– butterflies rising
Read More →in the wild open…
my safe space…
is in the wild open.
where there’s growing space
and soul-searching space,
and where my fire is bright,
and my wings are wide,
and my breathing is all its own…
and where i can always feel the way
my heart beats on its own.
– butterflies rising
Read More →muscle memory…
i spent so long aching for him to be good to me,
to just let someone be good to me…
it’s a whole new muscle memory
my heart still has to learn.
– butterflies rising
Read More →