still always mine…

from over here, love looks so sweet. but... so. terrifying.

from over here,
love looks so sweet.
but…
so. terrifying.
because i don't yet know how.
how to be so close to someone and
not crumble into a wild mess
of love where i lose me.
the last time i got close…
my god, how i lost me.
so much that i could barely
feel me. or hear me.
and it's the deepest ache i've
ever known when i can't feel me.
so i'm still learning…
how not to dim and quiet
and run and hide and tame me.
how to hold my own fire
even when my heart catches fire.
how to hold on so tight to my
own depths that even when
i'm tangled deep in you…
i'm still always mine.

– butterflies rising