it’s one of the darkest feelings
i’ve ever known… unworthy.
and maybe i want to learn to start
questioning it when i feel it.
like… is it always even mine?
because if it’s from someone else…
someone else’s unkindness, or judgment,
or their own unworthiness they’re projecting…
then i want to learn to say no.
i think maybe my own battles would get a little
easier to face if i wasn’t also fighting the
ones that aren’t even mine.
– butterflies rising
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this world can
feel so harsh and ugly
to you because you are
so soft and vulnerable
and beautiful… like flowers.
now imagine this world
without flowers.
so please let yourself be
something in this world that is soft
and vulnerable and beautiful,
just like flowers.
– butterflies rising
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it’s so delicate here.
but it’s where i’m the most brutal.
it’s where my raging gets careless,
and the delicate things end up crushed.
i fight my hardest fights
trying to love the deepest love,
but i’ve never been more unkind
than i’ve been in these close quarters
…in this head, and to this heart.
and when others have been unkind,
how quick i’ve been to betray myself and just agree.
and i’ve let it all hurt so much that unworthy has felt
like the only feeling i may ever again know…
like a flower whose every last petal has been torn away and
thrown to the wind with nothing left to recognize as beautiful.
just wilted. and bare with pain.
but what if it hurts this way for a reason…
because that ache in me is the fight in me
to learn to feel different.
because somewhere deep inside i know
that i want to be delicate here… desperately.
and when they’re unkind, and when i’m unkind,
somewhere deep down, i know that i fiercely. disagree.
and there’s a wild blossom in me and it’s too beautiful
to ever just be torn away and thrown to the wind.
and there’s a tenderness that i’m made of and an intimacy
that i’m part of… one that i’m going to learn
to take such delicate care of.
– butterflies rising
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self-love…
the most delicate intimacy
it’s so delicate here. but it’s where i’m
the most brutal. it’s where my raging gets
careless, and the delicate things end up crushed.
i fight my hardest fights trying to love the deepest love,
but i’ve never been more unkind than i’ve been
in these close quarters.
but what if this ache in me is also the fight in me
to learn to feel differently. because somewhere deep
inside i know that i want to be delicate here… desperately.
and there’s a tenderness that i’m made of and an intimacy that
i’m part of… one that i’m going to learn to take
such delicate care of.
– butterflies rising
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she wanders
out in the flowers,
in the wild, where the breathing
is easy and free… because it’s where
the judgment goes quiet…
and everything beautiful is so untouched.
it’s just beautiful. and wild. and fearless.
and whether it grows into something more
or burns down and has to start again,
it just does… fearlessly.
beautifully. and wild.
so she wanders out where she
can learn to see herself that way;
to see herself in the way that she looks
at flowers… like she’s a beautiful
wildness on fire.
– butterflies rising
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that little
voice inside of you…
it’s saying, “go.” so just go.
go where you can
stretch out and reach
wide and high
and bloom wild and untamed
and be unapologetic in your essence
and reckless in your fire
and golden in your skin
and so. easy. in your breathing…
just. go.
to wherever the brutal voices quiet
and the aching doubt settles
and all those heavy fears you’re holding
on to can start to loosen from your grip
and find little ways to fall away…
because that little voice… it’s trying to
save your soul. so just go.
whatever it takes.
whatever you need to put down.
whatever you have to leave behind.
untangle from it all…
and go where you breathe free.
– butterflies rising
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go where you can
stretch out and reach
wide and high
and bloom wild and untamed
and be unapologetic in your essence
and reckless in your fire
and golden in your skin
and so. easy. in your breathing…
just. go.
go where you breathe free.
– butterflies rising
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i think
you have to chase it.
that thing that tells you…
keep. going.
that there are wilder sunsets
and more colors to know.
that there are still answers for
what’s pulling at you.
that the emptiness and heartbreak aren’t
where love will leave you because somewhere
there is a lover who will kiss you like you have
poetry and addiction on your lips and who
needs your touch and taste like
mercy on their soul.
and there are all those virgin, unfelt things in you;
still untouched and tender and unfolding.
so you have to keep searching.
for all that soul stuff.
until your intangible aches are in the flesh
and that fire within you is spilling all around you…
i think you have to keep going.
– butterflies rising
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you have to keep going.
there are wilder sunsets and more colors
to know. and there are still answers for what’s
pulling at you. and i think you have to chase them…
i think you have to keep going.
– butterflies rising
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