all this mess inside my head…

he said,
what do you want?
i said… you.
he said,
no. i want to know what
you want… for you.

i want…
to search. and stretch.
and grow. and glow.
and drip myself in
wild creativity,
and burn and breathe at once
in this skin. in these lungs.
wings untethered,
under the moon,
into the sky,
and to dream big and bigger
and biggest,
and to feel free in here…
inside my anxious chest.
to just. feel. free.
and to have the universe
say… yes, you are worthy of all this.

and yes… you.
…the way you give me butterflies
and adrenaline highs,
and who you are, and how you are,
and how you think and speak and
feel and exist and move,
and there’s this feeling when you
look at me…
i think this is maybe love…
how you actually give a damn about
all this mess inside my head.

– butterflies rising

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i hope you can hear this…

i hope you
can hear this…
when your soul
is suffocating from all the
things you just. can’t. say.
as they chew at your chest
and you ache and crumble
until you become nothing
but mess and madness
gutted. on the floor.
and in the dark.
and it’s so. dark.
that even the moon hides
and the stars go quiet
and anything that ever
sounded like a way out
just. goes. quiet.
i hope you hear this…
it’s been so. damn. hard.
but you’ve been so brave.

– butterflies rising

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the sweet and wild rebellion in you…

the sweet and wild rebellion in you…

the poetry
in those eyes…
those dreamer’s eyes
learning to see in the dark.
and all that
beautiful madness
tangled in your hair.
toes dangling
over the edge,
testing a new universe.
it’s ok to take small steps and
deep breaths, love…
but also, let yourself start to
take up your space.
and don’t you dare say you’re
sorry when you do.
and you’ll be rejected
for these wings, these fires,
this sweet and wild rebellion in you.
but these are such. beautiful. things.
so keep choosing you…
because nothing will matter
if you reject you.

if it needs you small,
don’t let it hold you anymore.
don’t let anything that needs you
ordinary tame you ever again.

– butterflies rising

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the wild wreckage…

i take it all in
so deeply.
and maybe i feel it
a little too raw. and a little too tender.
and when i need to let it go,
maybe my heart strangleholds it
a little too tight. and for a little too long.
but the way i feel it when i feel it…
i touch. and i taste.
and i feel. fire.
and i shift in my existence and the
stardust burns into my skin.
so i try to be gentle with it…
with all that wild wreckage that
i barely recover from.
because there’s magic in it.
and evolution in me from it.
and because i love like an awakening
and i know what it’s like to trace
a soul in my fingertips.

– butterflies rising

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