what we run from or push away, the “you can’t hurt me if i hurt you firsts”…

what we run from or push away, the you can't hurt me if i hurt you first

what we run from or
push away, the “you can’t hurt me
if i hurt you first”…

not letting it come to us
because it’s just too good to be true…
or when it does, we can’t let it be here
because it’s just too beautiful to stay…

or trying to grip it and control it
when all we really need to do to hold it
is let it dance in our fingertips
instead of suffocating it away.

i think that thing we do as a defense when we’re
scared of losing something is often why we
end up losing things. and maybe letting
the beautiful things belong here…
is just in seeing that our fear is
what doesn’t belong here.

– butterflies rising

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i went through a love i barely recovered from…

i went through a love i barely recovered from, a heartbreak i barely survived

i went through a love i barely recovered from, a heartbreak i barely survived, and finding my way back to me… it took everything in me to do.

so if it feels hard to get close to me, it isn’t me not wanting to come close to you… it’s me not wanting anything to be able to take me away from me, ever again.

– butterflies rising

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i don’t feel like i’m supposed to search for a soulmate…

not trusting myself has been the worst of my trust issues

i don’t feel like i’m supposed to search for a soulmate. i feel like i’m supposed to search for my soul. find my soul things. go to my soul places. and i think i’ll find who is meant for me somewhere on those pathways… or they’ll find me somewhere being the me i want to be.

– butterflies rising

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In December (after Taylor Swift)… i will make a wish for the world around me to shimmer

In December… i will make a wish for the world around me to shimmer, for my wildest dreams to fall around me like glitter

In December (after Taylor Swift)…
i will make a wish for the world around me to shimmer, for my wildest dreams to fall around me like glitter, and for peace of mind to settle in and exile all my fears away. and in winter’s lavender haze, i will just breathe in the air and say, “life, please show me such beautiful things.” and in the midnight’s falling rain, i will look to the sky and pray that i can let myself deserve really beautiful things. and on my most delicate and dark days, i will close my eyes and say… “i am a beautiful thing.”

– butterflies rising

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it’s easily one of the things i’m most grateful for… divinity in the form of friends…

it's easily one of the things i'm most grateful for... divinity in the form of friends, home in the form of humans

it’s easily one of the things
i’m most grateful for… divinity in the form of friends,
home in the form of humans, the good souls i’m lucky
to know. the ones whose energy in your life is some
sort of magic. and i don’t know if there are
perfect words for it, but there are moments
when you’re with them, and you just
think things like…

“you remind me what heaven’s air felt like,
i think you’re here to walk me home.“

– butterflies rising

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you wanted me to dream… you’d say… you better stay hellbent in your heart…

you wanted me to dream. and you just wouldn't ever let me give in to the give-up

you wanted me to dream.
and you just wouldn’t ever let me
give in to the give-up.

you’d say…
“you better stay hellbent in your heart
and go where it wants you to go… because
it will ache if you don’t.”

and when i ache a little
from waiting on a dream, i remember
what you said, and i stay hellbent in my heart,
and i try to go where it wants me to go…
because i know that it will ache
even more if i don’t.

– butterflies rising

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where there’s wing-shaped air to stretch into all around me…

there is nothing i could lose that i would miss as much as i have missed the feel of my own soul when i wasn't listening to it

there is
nothing i could lose
that i would miss
as much as i have missed
the feel of my own soul
when i wasn’t listening to it,
and i’m listening now…
and it’s telling me
that i am meant to be
where my lungs can breathe easy
and where there’s wing-shaped air
to stretch into all around me

– butterflies rising

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soulmate stardust…

i think we find our soulmates in the places we go to find our souls

soulmate stardust…

the universe puts
little bits of stardust in them;
memory dust… soul traces…
so we can know.
ones that say things like…
i remember you.
i’ve been looking for you.
i couldn’t come here and
not find you… i had to find you.
i am for you.
and when we’re near them,
they don’t have to say a thing;
we feel it in our senses…
we just know.

– butterflies rising

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