i don’t feel like i’m supposed to search for a soulmate. i feel like i’m supposed to search for my soul. find my soul things. go to my soul places. and i think i’ll find who is meant for me somewhere on those pathways… or they’ll find me somewhere being the me i want to be.
– butterflies rising
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In December (after Taylor Swift)…
i will make a wish for the world around me to shimmer, for my wildest dreams to fall around me like glitter, and for peace of mind to settle in and exile all my fears away. and in winter’s lavender haze, i will just breathe in the air and say, “life, please show me such beautiful things.” and in the midnight’s falling rain, i will look to the sky and pray that i can let myself deserve really beautiful things. and on my most delicate and dark days, i will close my eyes and say… “i am a beautiful thing.”
– butterflies rising
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it’s easily one of the things
i’m most grateful for… divinity in the form of friends,
home in the form of humans, the good souls i’m lucky
to know. the ones whose energy in your life is some
sort of magic. and i don’t know if there are
perfect words for it, but there are moments
when you’re with them, and you just
think things like…
“you remind me what heaven’s air felt like,
i think you’re here to walk me home.“
– butterflies rising
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you have a heart that changes shape when something moves you… so let all of the things you feel so deeply move you. you are fire and wild and art and love and sugar and soul… so let the ache in your heart become a delicate rage that moves you.
– butterflies rising
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give them girlhood.
in any way you can… give girls friendships. ways to find
other girls in their world and to learn to dance with other
wildflowers, and to build bonds that teach them the magic of girls
and reflect back to them their own magic in themselves. and then,
when they grow a little taller and their world gets a little bigger,
if that world tries to tell them all about the unworthiness of a woman…
they will know it’s a lie.
and if you haven’t yet known girlhood,
i hope you find it in some way now… find other ones in this world
who help you see and feel the magic of other women. anything… from
trading friendship bracelets to breathing life into each other’s souls,
just somewhere you’ll be shown the magic in yourself. and so whenever
this world tries to tell you all about the unworthiness of a woman…
you’ll know it’s a lie.
– butterflies rising
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In November…
i’m still learning how to let good things
come to me… and i really want to.
i want to let the good things fall all around me
like leaves in golden light. and to let myself
feel so worthy of them… to let them
fall on me without a fight.
– butterflies rising
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of course being cheated on hurts you this way. because it wasn’t just skin on skin for you. you feel with the vulnerability of your soul and with all of your pulse when you let someone close… so of course it’s going to hurt you this way. so be gentle with yourself as you heal from the damage of it all.
– butterflies rising
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you’re not getting this all wrong;
being human is really hard, and things hurt
so much because you’re made of stuff that’s so
much better than this place. so it’s ok to barely
even know how to be human sometimes… just take
it from one breath to the next.
– butterflies rising
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not trusting myself has been the worst of my trust issues… this quiet violence i’ve committed against myself for too long. but learning to trust what my heart has to say now is how i’ll find my way.
– butterflies rising
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