the exhale…

all of it made sense now, and none of it mattered anymore.

i stood there
in front of you
and i thought of everything
that had ever broken me,
i thought of everything
that had ever shattered my heart,
and in that moment when i looked at you
i thought of how maybe
i’ll tell you someday.
but for now, i just exhaled.
and i spoke nothing of any of it…

because all
of it made sense now,
and none of it
mattered anymore.

– butterflies rising

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i hope you can hear this…

it's been so. damn. hard. but you've been so brave.

i hope
you can hear this…
when your soul is suffocating
from all the things you just. can’t. say.
as they chew at your chest,
and you ache and crumble
until you become nothing
but mess and madness
gutted. on the floor.
and in the dark. and it’s so. dark.
that even the moon hides and the stars
go quiet and anything that ever
sounded like a way out just. goes. quiet.
i hope you hear this… it’s been so. damn. hard.
but you’ve been so brave.

– butterflies rising

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aching to touch stars…

that part of you that is aching to touch stars

aching to touch stars…

i hope you keep it close…
no matter what.
if it’s imprinted on you,
like soul memory,
then i hope you keep it so. close.
and that you hold on tight
no matter what.
there will be little traces of someday
in the not-quite-yet, and i hope you feel them.
and that you can find a way to trust them.
even if weary sets in and uncertain gets loud,
i hope you can be gentle with that doubt.
and that something in you knows that it will pass.
and that it doesn’t mean give up.
i hope you never truly feel give-up.
but if you do, then i hope that some. how.
the fight in you finds its teeth
and that heart of yours finds its fire
and that you can reach deep down into that
part of you that is aching to touch stars and just
find a way to stay dreaming no. matter. what.
i hope you can hold on and hold on
and hold on… until you can feel
every last bit of your hope
holding you right back.

– butterflies rising

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