too full, too much…

for so long
i thought if i could
just become. enough.
that it would be enough
for him to be good to me…
until i finally realized that
wasn’t what he wanted.
he wanted me
to be pretty enough
to be beautiful in his eyes,
but my eyes better
not be too bright,
and that dress better
not be too short,
and those lips better not be
too full of lush and love
or talk of too much life for
anyone else to see something
beautiful in me…
or heaven forbid, for me to see
something beautiful in myself.
and those dreams i had to
find my voice and to spill out
the words and the wild
from my heart onto pages
and out into the world…
if i was chasing those dreams,
then i wouldn’t be small enough
or sitting still enough as
the sure thing there waiting
while he was chasing his.
the more i tried to be. enough.
the more i became too much.
because underneath all the
ways he needed me to be small,
“enough” is what he felt
like he wasn’t.

– butterflies rising

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what if only…

what if only, when you feel her reaching for you, you could reach too.

what if only,
when you feel
her reaching for you,
you could reach too.
maybe go a little higher.
just let yourself stretch.
and let your heart grow.
what if only,
instead of pulling away,
instead of trying to pull her down,
you could just go a little higher.
you could let her fire be bright.
and you could let your fear be small.
what if only
you could let the way you see
yourself be stretched…
you could let your whole. soul. grow.
i know you wonder what it could be like…
if maybe it’s beautiful there.
so what if only…

– butterflies rising

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she’s got all that wildflower energy in her veins…

she’s got all that wildflower energy in her veins - butterflies rising

she’s butterfly-wild,
chasing all those inner fires,
her restless spirit
aching for something beautiful,
reaching for something more,
so flower-sweet and fire-wild,
she’s got all those big dreams
inside of her taking hold and
trying to stretch her, trying to grow her,
her wandering spirit
aching to find its way to open air,
searching for something golden
and sun-kissed,
reaching for so. much. more.
craving an untamed freedom
that tastes like pulse, and heartbeat,
and deep breath, and wild skin.
and she feels it all. and she will find it.
because she’s meant for it…
she’s got all that wildflower energy
in her veins.

– butterflies rising

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when it matters…

but did you love her with an ache when you had her?

you say it aches,
how much you miss her…
but did you love her with an ache when you had her?

you had every bit of her full attention,
but where was yours?
she broke her heart open for you
again and again… and you just. kept. closing yours.

and so you lost her. and now you learn…
you learn that holding has to have wanting,
and appreciating, and valuing. you learn that love
isn’t static. it’s kinetic, it’s movement,
it’s growth and curiosity. you learn that there has
to be just as much
there has to be more wanting in the holding
than there is in missing, or in reaching for.

you learn that you have to ache for people when it matters…
you have to love someone when you have them.

– butterflies rising

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where you breathe free…

bloom wild and untamed and be unapologetic in your essence

go where you can
stretch out and reach
wide and high
and bloom wild and untamed
and be unapologetic in your essence
and reckless in your fire
and golden in your skin
and so. easy. in your breathing…
just. go.

go where you breathe free.

– butterflies rising

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just go…

go where you can stretch out and reach wide and high and bloom wild and untamed

that little
voice inside of you…
it’s saying, “go.” so just go.
go where you can
stretch out and reach
wide and high
and bloom wild and untamed
and be unapologetic in your essence
and reckless in your fire
and golden in your skin
and so. easy. in your breathing…
just. go.
to wherever the brutal voices quiet
and the aching doubt settles
and all those heavy fears you’re holding
on to can start to loosen from your grip
and find little ways to fall away…
because that little voice… it’s trying to
save your soul. so just go.
whatever it takes.
whatever you need to put down.
whatever you have to leave behind.
untangle from it all…
and go where you breathe free.

– butterflies rising

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