when it matters…

you say it aches,
how much you miss her…
but did you love her with an ache when you had her?

you had every bit of her full attention,
but where was yours?
she broke her heart open for you
again and again… and you just. kept. closing yours.

and so you lost her. and now you learn…
you learn that holding has to have wanting,
and appreciating, and valuing. you learn that love
isn't static. it's kinetic, it's movement,
it's growth and curiosity. you learn that there has
to be just as much there has to be more wanting in the holding
than there is in missing, or in reaching for.

you learn that you have to ache for people when it matters…
you have to love someone when you have them.

– butterflies rising