you cannot love yourself and apologize for who you are at the same time…

you cannot love yourself and apologize for who you are at the same time

you cannot love yourself and apologize for
who you are at the same time… and you don’t need to say
“i’m sorry” for the way your perfect atoms find
themselves falling into place as the beautiful
universe that you are.

– butterflies rising

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i’ve got dreams… ones that are drenched in art and taste like adventure…

i've got dreams... ones that are drenched in art and taste like adventure

i’ve got dreams…
ones that are drenched in art
and taste like adventure…
ones that feel like
being kissed until my heart bursts…
ones that open up my whole soul
like a wildflower on fire.

– butterflies rising

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little seeds, someday flowers… today i will be good to myself, and tomorrow maybe a little bit better…

little seeds, someday flowers... today i will be good to myself, and tomorrow maybe a little

little seeds, someday flowers…

today i will
be good to myself,
and tomorrow maybe
a little bit better,
until being good to me
is a little easier,
and maybe even someday
not so hard at all.
maybe these are just little seeds
but i’ll keep giving them
touches of sunlight…
just a little hope here
and a little grace there
and a little more light in those
places holding all the fear,
and then maybe all these little seeds
just might grow until someday they
become flowers…
and then i will be made of flowers.

– butterflies rising

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until you finally feel free…

let it fall through your fingers again and again and again until you finally feel free

sometimes,
letting go is an exorcism.
it’s standing on a bridge in the mountains
in the black of the night
and screaming to the stars as you throw
that necklace they gave you out into the canyon.
and you watch it fall into every bit of the black below
just to make sure to yourself that you will never, ever hold it again…
to make sure you understand that they will never, ever hold you again.
and it’s chewing them out of your heart the way you used to bite down into their chest,
and with that same intensity you used to feel when you were that close to them.
an excruciating. exorcism.
burning it all down and leaving it all behind
and gutting yourself inside out
until you remove every last trace.

but sometimes… letting go is just noticing.
a little change in your breath. how it comes a little easier from your lungs.
how you feel just a little different in your skin, like it holds a little less memory of
their fingertip touch and a little more texture of who you are.

and then sometimes… it’s finally surrendering.
giving in to the loosening of your grip on what you can no longer hold on to because
it just hurts too. much. to keep holding on.
so you decide it might be ok- it might be essential to start letting go.
and you let go just a little bit. and then a little bit more.
and you let it fall through your fingers
again and again and again
until you finally feel free.

– butterflies rising

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sometimes… letting go is just noticing…

let it fall through your fingers again and again and again until you finally feel free

sometimes…
letting go is just noticing.
a little change in your breath.
how it comes a little easier from your lungs.
how you feel just a little different in your skin,
like it holds a little less memory of what hurt you
and a little more texture of who you are.
it’s just finally surrendering.
giving in to the loosening of your grip
on what you can no longer hold on to because
it just hurts too. much. to keep holding on.
so you decide it might be ok- it might be essential
to start letting go.
and you let go just a little bit.
and then a little bit more.
and you let it fall through your fingers
again and again and again
until you finally feel free.

– butterflies rising

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aching to touch stars… i hope you keep it close… no matter what. if it’s imprinted on you…

that part of you that is aching to touch stars

aching to touch stars…

i hope you keep it close…
no matter what.
if it’s imprinted on you,
like soul memory,
then i hope you keep it so. close.
and that you hold on tight
no matter what.
there will be little traces of someday
in the not-quite-yet, and i hope you feel them.
and that you can find a way to trust them.
even if weary sets in and uncertain gets loud,
i hope you can be gentle with that doubt.
and that something in you knows that it will pass.
and that it doesn’t mean give up.
i hope you never truly feel give-up.
but if you do, then i hope that some. how.
the fight in you finds its teeth
and that heart of yours finds its fire
and that you can reach deep down into that
part of you that is aching to touch stars and just
find a way to stay dreaming no. matter. what.
i hope you can hold on and hold on
and hold on… until you can feel
every last bit of your hope
holding you right back.

– butterflies rising

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